Saturday, 12 August 2017

Not Even One Thing

A lovely reader suggested I give myself a little bit of slack allowing myself to buy one thing over the year of not buying clothes.

 I live about 300 metres from a charity shop, though my town and local city don't have ANY consignment shops, but have decided that I am not going to even buy one thing.

The problem is that for me, it's a slippery slope. The moment I buy one thing, then a buying avalanche ensues and it becomes 2 and 3 and 4 and so on.

Utter and total abstinence, a bit like I am with alcohol. I find, that whilst very rigid, total abolishment of the thing doing me no good works best. I simply don't do 'a little bit' very well. I guess you could say I am a kind of all or nothing person in many ways.

This serves me well, mostly. Except when I fall off the wagon, I fall off to the extremity I previously demonstrated in my rigidity.

I am determined to do this. I just know that this will be the making of me. Far beyond what I will save, will be the self-esteem, the knowledge that I finally succeeded in killing a very bad, destructive, life-long habit.

The only possibility of my buying anything in the clothing area is if someone gives me money or a gift card to a place I could buy something I think I need. But most people don't do that, they know my attachment to coffee and coffee vouchers far surpass my wish to buy more clothing.

It's super early days. But this time I have a confidence I will achieve my goal.

It could also be down to the fact that yesterday I discovered a pair of black skinny leg jeans I didn't even know I owned...which made me realise there are likely to be several billion other items that I have but didn't realise.

A whole new wardrobe is about to be birthed!

Friday, 11 August 2017

The Universe Is Sending Me A Message....

It was icy yesterday morning. My car sputtered in the drive a bit and then stopped-dead!

I quickly made a call to get a lift to work, was offered help later in the day by my lovely fella and set about my day.

When I got home it was golden and warm and I thought I might just hop into the car and try to start it. And of course, if started immediately.

But it got me thinking. Had I have parked it in my pristine garage overnight instead of the driveway, it would have  started straight away. So why didn't I park it in my garage? After all, my garage is immaculately organised.... my oversized wardrobe. A sea of shoes, rails and rails of sartorial creations...and absolutely no room for my car. Could this be the sign I needed? "Hey girl, if you don't get rid of some of your clothing now, the car gets it!". I took it as read. Something had to give. So after consultation with a friend, I am going to begin with the eradication of one item a week in the clothing arena. One item is nothing, but chances are it will grow to far more than one item. I did think if I set it as an item a day I would soon give up, but an item a week, with room to upsize that amount, well I can live with that.

And I'm willing to bet, so can the car! Brmmmm Brrrrm.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

My Hair Routine

I have had all sorts of weird and wonderful hairstyles throughout the years, from waist length black and electric blue hair, to shaved like a zen monk. I always wanted to have a look at me style, that is until the last 5 years or so. These days I am about the ease of style. It needs to be able to be done in under one-two minutes or else it takes too long.

So now it is cropped very short all around the back and sides with a bit of a flappy bit on top. I was sooking about the grey that was showing, so had the top, slightly longer part, bleached blond, but at $120 I decided I was going to have to get over my vanity.

However, these days my special man cuts the whole lot for me, for free. He offered to do it one day and it turned out great. I also have another adept friend who is pretty handy with the clippers too.

It dries in minutes and needs one 20 second blast with the drier to finish it off and a half-sized pea blob of smoothing gel to keep it flat.

My man laughs I take so little time to get ready when we're going anywhere...but the years of hours and hours in front of the mirror are long gone.

At least for vanity...but as for singing into my hair brush....well.....

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

The Mins Game (modified)

My Little Man Joseph

I've been playing a game for a few days now. It's THE MINS GAME .

And whilst it is supposed to be played with a partner, I figured that since I am pretty pared down, I could play against myself and try to beat myself.

It's simple really. It lasts for one month. On day one, you find one thing to get rid of, day two, two things, day three, three things and so on until 31 days have gone by.

I have been at it four days now and here is what I have eradicated so far.

Day One - a wok to my sister
Day Two -  a pen (the bin) and champagne corker saver (charity)
Day Three - three books to charity shop
Day Four - a small side table given to my special man and three books to the charity shop
Day Five - TBA

I have done the maths and if I've done it correctly, that will be a total of 496 items gone.  I do know that if I can stick to this for the whole thirty one days, I will have gotten rid of several hundred items,  items I thought I needed but didn't. When I consider how minimal I think I am (clothes the exception, I know) that would be remarkable.

Updates to follow every few days, wish me luck!

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

When I Moved House Recently...

Ok, so it wasn't so recently that we moved house, it was actually November last year. But having lived in the same place prior to that for about 12 years, it was a big deal for us.

I made a big mistake when I moved. A stupid costly mistake that even now I am shaking my head at. I decided that as I was moving and this was a very big, fresh start for me, I would leave everything behind and buy everything new.  I needed a bed, I needed little bits of furniture and a few other things, no doubt I needed those, but that's about it.

What I didn't need was a bread maker, an air fryer, a large cat scratching post, a spare single bed, new cutlery, crockery and cups. I also didn't need new towels or a vacuum, or outdoor table, chair and umbrella, to name but a few items I purchased. But I had left everything behind and cut all ties with it, I felt I wanted everything fresh.

I have since sold a fair bit of the new unneeded stuff. I kept the vacuum and towels, but I have since reflected on how much stuff I didn't need to buy or should have brought with me in the first place.

The silver lining is that I have now organised my house, so that with the exception of my closet (which is immaculately organised - though massive) I have very little stuff.

The moral of this confession is that I would always recommend that a person moves house and THEN sees what they really and truly need.

If I'd done that, then I would never have bought the orange, ceramic, tacky looking deer head.

And that's something worth keeping your hand out of your wallet for!

Monday, 7 August 2017

Not Buying Clothes...No Really This Time!

One of the reasons I got myself into debt in the past, before I got rid of all my credit cards and consumer debt, was clothes shopping.

I thought if I could just buy the perfect (..........) then all my sartorial and self-esteem based needs would be met. But I found the more and more I bought, the worse I felt. I knew I was wasting money and couldn't seem to stop myself. I repeatedly told myself this would be the last shopping spree and then I was done.

But I never seemed to be done.

And I never felt better about myself.'

It took a lot of work and reading, self examination and thinking, to work out that I already was/am enough. No cute tea dress, no leather jacket and no pair of black leather boots was ever going to make me feel better, in the long term, than knowing myself and who I really was. Ok, so I got a BIG kick out of coworkers telling me how bright and breezy, how daring and cute my outfits were. But at the end of the day, in my heart, I knew this still felt like a horribly empty place to put my self-esteem.

Getting out of debt, giving things away and wearing what I had already was a huge help. I have less clothes nowadays, but I'm still well stocked for possibly the rest of my life. Ok, so I pay for everything with money these days, but I'm still like a woman with a clothes collection beyond her needs.

So I'm setting a challenge. Challenge number two. It's been done numerous times by others, but this is personal to me. I am taking the next year to not buy anything in the clothes area.

This includes Underwear - I have so many bras, knickers, socks etc etc all in pristine condition.
Sleepwear - I have a lot of pjs. I actually only wear them around the house. At sleep time I have no need for them.
Shoes - OMG I have NO need of footwear. From sneakers, to boots, to sandals, to flip flops, to slippers...NO NO NO NO NO!
Outerwear - If I were to tell you I own over forty coats for various'd understand.
Tops, jeans, dresses, shirts, singlets, leisure wear....absolutely NOT.

I truly do not need anything. I also can't think of anything I would even need to buy in the next year. If something crops up I'll blog about it for your thoughts...but as of Friday two days ago, my year started. I set the countdown on my countdown app and I'll post periodically about how I'm going.

I know it's going to be a revelation.

From being in credit card debt with clothes shopping, to paying real money for clothes, but still buying eyes are about to be opened.

Sunday, 6 August 2017

My Fairytale Is Re-Written

As I've mentioned previously, I am a single mom. I have been for over ten years and like it this way. Initially it wasn't my choice and certainly it wasn't my dream as a younger adult, but I now see how all roads have brought me to this place and how I live a life of peace.

I do have a special person in my life who I love dearly. But we do not live together and have no intention of doing so. We are together when we want to be and apart when we want to be. The times we do spend together, so far, are lovely. We don't fight and we do enjoy each other's company. We both have children and our time for those little people in our lives is sacrosanct.

I have my weird peccadilloes. Watching seven episodes of Frankie and Grace in my underwear, or cleaning the kitchen floor at midnight. Past experiences have shown me that it's kind of hard to do that, without judgement or expectations, in a full blown relationship.

Now please remember I am speaking only for myself here. My own parents have been married for sixty plus years. So if you are married or shacked up together happily, I am only happy and pleased for you. But for me relationship minimalism works.

I am also very tidy and very frugal. This has never been a combination made in heaven for me in past relationships. Oddly enough my special man is both, but he in his place and me in mine.

The fairytale I had when I was a kid, I've never been able to achieve. It's always gone pear-shaped. So I've come to the conclusion that the fairy tale has had to be rewritten for me. So I am now able to eat the way I want, save and spend the way I want, blog without being criticised, watch what I want, be with my love when we want, spend quality time with my kid and there are no arguments in my life anymore.

Relationship minimalism works for me. I am grateful for this. I feel like I have a great relationship with myself, for me that's the most important relationship I'll ever have. My kid and lover, they're the cherry on my custard tart.